Valentine’s Day brings some of the most bipolar emotions to the surface… yes, love is a complex thing. You can have a Valentine’s slasher like My Bloody Valentine about a bloodthirsty psycho in a mask killing teens for the sheer thrill of it or a Valentine’s slusher like the sickly sweet I Hate Valentine’s Day starring, directed, written and conceived by Hollywood’s favourite Greek (next to Zorba), Nia Vardolos. Either way, there’s bound to be carnage on the battlefield of love, whether a masked killer is trying to sever ties for good or a florist is trying to keep things raunchy without getting serious.
Thankfully for the “romcom” lovers, Valentine’s Day falls on the slusher side of the spectrum, thanks to director, Garry Marshall (Beaches, Pretty Woman and The Princess Diaries). Although in retrospect, Ashton Kutcher would make a brilliant psychopath… and an injection of Scream would only make things funnier in my opinion. Anyways… Valentine’s Day (the movie) is basically an American version of the heartwarming British triumph for “romcoms” known as Love, Actually. It certainly makes up for the miserable weather. Valentine’s Day boasts an all-star cast including: Jessica Alba (rrrrawrrr), Kathy Bates (cameo), Jessica Biel (neurotic), Bradley Cooper (unnecessary), Julia Roberts (favour?), Patrick Dempsey (the Dr.), Jamie Foxx (yeah, yeah), Jennifer Garner (typical), Topher Grace (good form), Anne Hathaway (funny), Ashton Kutcher (Mr. Moore), Queen Latifah (oh mama), George Lopez (Georgie), Shirley McClaine (die hard), Emma Roberts (cute), Taylor Lautner (wolfman) and Taylor Swift.
It’s a wonder they managed to fit them all into one film… thankfully most of them are supporting actor material, bar the miscast Julia Roberts, and they’re all used to sharing the load. This may have caused friction in some places, because we all know how difficult it is to portray a character with limited screen time. The main criticism of Valentine’s Day is that it is overly long with one too many love stories going on. There’s not enough time to really get into any of the character’s shoes and their loosely connected lives intertwine in a fairly convenient way with one or two inconsistent surprises… you’ll see.
The film is always entertaining with its vast array of beautiful celebrities and could have probably been expanded into a TV series if it weren’t for its one day of the year plot… these are the day of our lives? You really want to get into each character’s situation, a feat achieved in Love, Actually with a smaller ensemble. Although, it reflects the day for lovers in its glib commercial heartwarming frivolity and doesn’t strike the same chord as Love, Actually falling more in line with He’s Just Not That Into You.
Valentine’s Day is a light-hearted, fun and enjoyable first date material that takes a cross-section of American culture from puppy love all the way to 40 year anniversaries. It tries to represent love for all ages with hints of culture, race and sexuality filling the gaps. The ensemble manage to pull it off, although the Cooper/Roberts chemistry feels a little forced and they could have thrown the scene away if it weren’t for the star power. It’s ultimately a feel good movie… designed much like a Valentine’s card, thoughtful, colourful and fascinating, but easily forgotten until next Valentine’s Day.
The bottom line: Sweet.
Screenplay with Spling
Stephen ‘Spling’ Aspeling
www.spling.co.za
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